As a standup, I tried to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room. Not necessarily in that order. Show less «

[In response to the Leonard Bernstein quote "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before," which he had made just days after the assassination of John F. Kennedy.] Or pick up a baseball bat and take out every fucking republican and independent I see. Show less «

I was basically disowned by my Italian Catholic parents when I came out. They didn't speak to me for five years. Over a course of time however - mostly through my rubbing their faces in it - they came around to a place of peace with who I am. Show less «

My idea as far as comedy goes has always been able to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It's the intent behind them is that is what's important. Show less «

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian because I understand men so completely and women are a total mystery to me. ... Women are the most confusing, annoying people in the world. Show less «

[on whose musical style she was most influenced] John Coltrane. He spent a lifetime trying to sound unique and to have his own style. As a jazz musician I find it very important to find my own style - which is why it's very interesting that whenever reviewers review me, they compare me to a laundry list of other singers. We're talking everyone from Bjork to Ethel Merman..The reality is, I sound like me. I'm just able to sing in a variety of styles. And that's how I try to find my own. Show less «